Come on!

Phonetic Geordie Meditation Translation Get ye sell comfy. Best to sit on yer arse, on a cushion or owt if want, and think that thaz summic like pulling ya heed from the middle to the roof. Good for back position, serious. Feet on the floor please an aal. Get yourself into a comfortable position. Sitting on a cushion, a chair, lying on the back if prefer, and think of a piece of string attached to your head from the middle to the ceiling. This is to help keep the spine straight, with a good for the back position. Try and keep your feet on the floor too. Reet. Take a muckle slow breath in.  Had it aal in for a while, boot coont of 4.  Slowly blah it aal oot slowly, coont of 8ish. Dee it again like, just divvent hurry. It's reet under our noses.  And again twice owa. When you are comfortably positioned, take a big slow breath in. Hold it in for a relaxed count of 4. Then slowly exhale for count of 8 if possible, or just whatever is comfortable. Do this again...