Phonetic Geordie Meditation Piss-take
Get ye sell comfy. Best to sit on yer
arse, on a cushion or owt if want, and think that thaz summic like pulling ya
heed from the middle to the roof. Good for back position, serious.
Feet on the floor please an aal.
Reet. Take a muckle slow breath in.
Had it aal in for a while, boot coont
of 4.
Slowly blah it aal oot slowly, coont
of 8ish.
Dee it again like, just divvent
hurry.
It's reet under our noses.
And again twice owa.
Can't dee it wrang, hasn't got to be
owt perfect at aal. Breathe naturally.
When ye breathe, the chest n belly n
shoulders are ganna move. This is good.
Each breath, try and think about it.
Focus on it - ya beek, n tash, n gob.
Where do yee feel it most comin in
gannin oot?
Divvent stress aboot it. We aal dee
it. It's like a monkey mind thing. Booncin here'n'there none-stop n again n
that.
Thing is, divvent worry aboot it.
Accept them. It's ganna happen; them thoughts.
When the dee, then get ye heed back
to breathin’ – feel it on ye nerse, or lip? Belly oot? Tits oot?
That's a focus n calms them monkeys
doon.
Now wiggle ye fingaz and terz aboot a
bit,
Open your eyes
And back to a calmer you!
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